Hindu mythology is full of stories drenched with valor, emotions and life lessons. So many gods and their incarnations; the sagas of almighty, living with mortals as a mortal. One such saga is of Lord Ram. He is considered as the epitome of perfection, the maximum perfection a human can reach. He was the perfect gentleman in every relationship, almost every. I remember my chemistry tutor once raised this topic. There was some discussion regarding perfect behavior of elements which sidetracked on how Lord Ram was perfect everything but not a perfect husband. Why? The infamous and controversial ‘Agni Pariksha’.
A Bit of Background
Those who are unaware of the details, let me give you a quick recap. Lord Ram was given an order of 14 years of exile in forests by his father, as requested by his stepmother. Being the perfect son, he obliged. Lord Ram, Goddess Sita and Lord Lakshman spent almost all of this time peacefully in the forests of India. Then, the King of Lanka, Ravana, abducted Goddess Sita to avenge his sister’s insult. After a war, Lord Ram killed Ravana and got Goddess Sita back. Until now, everything was straightforward but then came the controversy. Goddess Sita was asked to perform ‘Agni Pariksha’ to prove her purity. She obliged and entered a burning pyre. As she was pure, the fire couldn’t touch her. Everyone happily came back to Ayodhya as the time of exile was finished.
Here again, Goddess Sita was asked to perform ‘Agni Pariksha’ for the people of Ayodhya. This time, Goddess Sita was not ready to bow down as her character was being questioned. So, she left Lord Ram and shifted to Panchvati Ashram. When she returned after years, she was the mother of Lord Ram’s twin sons: Luv and Kush. Again, she was asked to perform Agni Pariksha. This time, it was too much for her. She asked the Goddess of the Earth to take her with her. She was born from the earth and she went back to the earth in the end.
Now, any man or woman with even a bit of feministic side will find it unfair. For someone like me who is a pure feminist, it was a disaster. Still, I believe there is an angle we all miss in this mythological saga. A point of view which will justify it all.
It was never about Lord Ram himself
First of all, we have to remember that none of the Agni Parikshas were for Lord Ram himself. He never had any type of doubt on his wife. It was the society that was suspicious. You know how the society works; a woman alone in an enemy enclosure: kuch to hua hoga! My father once told me a story. After Lord Ram, Sita and Lakshman came back to Ayodhya and started living as royalty; there were rumors in the public of Ayodhya. Once, Lord Ram disguised himself as a normal man and went to a riverside. There were some local people talking there. Between these people was a man arguing with his wife. I don’t remember what the exact conversation was, but it was in the line of “King Ram may have accepted Queen Sita, but I am not that big-hearted”. Summary of the story is that people doubted the character of their queen. This was the reason Lord Ram asked for the second Agni Pariksha.
Now, even if this was the case, it couldn’t be justified at all. If Lord himself will bow down to the pressure of ‘log kya khege’ then how normal humans will survive it. As a husband, you are supposed to fight for your wife’s dignity, not ask her to prove it in front of a whole town. But what if it was supposed to happen the wrong way only? What if, there was a bigger picture behind it?
It was always about Goddess Sita
There is one thing which is absolutely true about all these mythological stories. They teach life lessons. Especially, the Lord Ram saga was all about how to behave in the perfect manner. Perfect son, perfect student, perfect brother, perfect king, perfect husband? Maybe not. But what if, it was never about being a perfect husband but about being a perfect wife. What if it was not about how Lord Ram was wrong but how Goddess Sita was right. Were they, as a godly couple, teaching us the lessons of feminism? Let’s have a look at it in the perspective of Queen Sita.
Goddess Sita was also the perfect example of perfection. She was a perfect daughter, perfect daughter-in-law and wife. When Lord Ram was ordered to go into exile, she decided to join in. She was a princess brought up in a palace with all the luxuries. Still, she was ready to give it up all for her husband. When she was asked to do the Agni Pariksha for the first time, she didn’t hesitate for a minute. To prove her purity, she entered a burning pyre. She might be a Goddess, but her body was of a human, bound by human limitations. It was her strength and purity of her soul that fire couldn’t touch her.
But when she was asked to do it again, there was no point to prove her purity for the second time. The woman who left everything for her husband, the same woman left him for her dignity. She chose her self-respect over the king who was her husband and his order. She chose life in the forest over the life of a queen. In a time when ‘
Conclusion:
I wouldn’t suggest men to take pointers from Lord Ram of how to be a perfect husband, but they can take pointers from Goddess Sita of what to expect in return if you go down the wrong path. Was Lord Ram right or not will always be a controversy but Goddess Sita was no doubt a perfect feminist. Obedient yet strong as hell. We can learn a thing or two from her.
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